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The undisputed Bulgarian hegemony in Eastern Europe however, ended in the 14th century, when Bulgarians discovered that rotten fruit makes great alcohol.

This resulted in heavy drinking and a hangover that lasted approximately 600 years, a period generally recognized as a blank spot in history.

Undoubtedly, Bulgaria is most popular for its outstanding snack foods - Zayo Bayo, Lucky Boy, Crocky, Chipi Chips and Chips Niki.

Bulgaria is also the leading manufacturer of hope in the EU with 67000443 metric tons of hope produced annually, mostly by pensioners hoping that their children will return from abroad.

The thing is that Bulgaria and the Black Sea have had a very prolonged and fierce territorial dispute.

The predominant belief among Black Sea dolphins is that the fishy smell of the average Bulgarian proves their ichthyo-generic origin and justifies all territorial claims on Bulgaria.

Bulgaria now happily serves the North American Czar as a member of Not A Terrorist Organization (NATO).

When Bulgarians finally sobered up, it was already 1990, the Black Sea had backed up, and they were living in a puddle of shit.

The situation only worsened when the Bulgarians realized that in their drunken stupor they had signed the Warsaw Pact under the Soviet puppet regime of 1955.

Bulgaria is the fifth largest factory in the World, after America and Wisconsin.

Modern Bulgarians enjoy drinking the local beverages "rakia", "Boza" and vodka (known in Bulgaria as "Voda") and listening to the so called chalga music, a form of gypsy folk, invented by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

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